Oldie But Goodie: The Shepherd Song ! 

I use to sing this song on the children’s choir.. and was way to young to realize exactly what I was singing about. 

“You say I am your Shepherd, why aren’t you following me?”

These are the words of the song and it’s God speaking to us. We make the declaration that we love God, that we will live and die for him, that he’s our savior ..but very few of us actually FOLLOW HIM. 

“I told my sheep to visit the sick and take the stranger in… when you see someone naked use your wool to cover their skin” 

How many of us would actually do that? How many of us are really willing to follow God in every aspect of our life? 
“I told my sheep to love one another even your enemies too but you have love for only those that have that love for you.”

This is what I struggle with the most. Being bullied for almost all of my life. Having anxiety, dealing with so much hurt and pain, it’s actually extremely hard to love people at all. But yet Jesus did it. It’s not easy, it hurts, and at times makes me feel so weak. I’m asking God for a balance that I may love my enemies but have the strength to stick up for myself when needed. 

My cousin Jasmine use to lead this song. And her voice was like an Angel, we didn’t always get along but as we got older she was becoming my best friend. Jasmine died the year we would go into the 6th grade together. And it tears me apart to know that I had a true best friend and she was taken from me so young. I miss her the most when I’m lonely or feeling negative. In the shower one day this song came to me, and I knew it was her my Angel pointing me in the right direction. 

Maybe I felt negative because I wasn’t following God like how I was supposed to. I was worried about my bullies, what they were saying and what they were doing. I was constantly thinking of the meanest things to say to them, or how bad I would beat them up if it ever got to that point. I wasn’t following God. I was feeding my flesh with negative thoughts. 

With listening to this song over and over, praying, and reading my bible I hope to find that balance and let go of the negative thoughts, we cannot let those thoughts consume us. 

Now ask yourself, in what areas of your life are you now Following God?

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KESHA IS BACK !! 

Kesha’s new single PRAYING is truly amazing. Her voice sounds so rich and she reaches this high note that not even Mariah can hate on.

We all know Kesha has suffered a very abusive relationship with her former manager. He took her through a lot not only have it complete control over her but even her music for some time. We were all at home shouting free Kesha and now she is free and she has found God, love, and forgiveness through her sufferings.

Thank you Kesha for bing an inspiration to so many women who have been through domestic violence and women in general. We are so glad you got your voice back. 

Check out Kesha’s Music Video for Praying: https://youtu.be/v-Dur3uXXCQ

My First Time …

 

I sit in my fully furnished Colorado apartment, in which I’m calling home for the summer, watching the young Carrie Bradshaw contemplate on writing an essay about the first time she had sex.

 

Most of us have some elaborate story about either how amazing or  horrible their first time was. Fortunately, that experience has very little to do with who I am today. My first sexual experience wasn’t very memorable or enjoyable making it very easy to not talk about. However, there’s another first that has had the greatest impact on me… the first time I realized my parents weren’t perfect.

 

 

they had me young and I grew up thinking that my parents were the most supportive, loving and honest people in the world. I felt like no matter what they would do anything for me and that’s how it would always be.

 

Until the 7th grade… things just kind of went left. so many things were happening in my life that just came so fast and unexpectant.

 

Although my parents weren’t together I never felt like their love for me or each other had dwindled. They were co-parents, although they had their share of arguments, I was too young to read into any of them. I always thought they were fighting over who loved me more lol. (which I later grew up to realize this wasn’t true)

 

The seventh grade was the year that I realized my mom could hurt, that she held the capability to lie, and that she didn’t always make the right decisions.

 

She married a man who was perverted, who would go on to not only hurt her, but her only daughter at the time. I learned to love my step father, and realized that he was one of the disgusting men that I would red about or see on TV. Never thinking he would put me or my family in the predicament that he did.

 

For a while I blamed my mom moved away to grandma on my dad’s side. Then realized that my dad and his side of the family wouldn’t be my refuge.

 

I realized that no matter how much I knew my dad loved me he has never actually said it.  He allowed his mother to feed him negative stories about me and he  believed it because he never really KNEW ME. He never really took the chance to get to know me.

 

The seventh grade I lost my virginity, and naivetés to the negative aspects of life. My parents weren’t perfect, and I had to deal with that.

 

Most of my life I felt like I was chastised to be perfect. Don’t lie, don’t steal, don’t curse, don’t cheat, don’t be nasty, always be nice, always be respectful… I grew up and realized that everything that was beaten in me, were the very things that my parents and other adults still did.

It was a hard pill to swallow, that everything I learned was situational and an option, even though it was forced on me.

 

I began to look at the world different, casting judgement on those who didn’t fit into the perfect person that my mother had raised me to be. I even casted all that judgement on her and my father. Resenting them, holding grudges in my heart for the things I felt they didn’t do but should have.

 

For a while the world didn’t make sense to me. So, I began to make my own mistakes. feeling like nothing even mattered, because the people who are supposed to do right, don’t, so why should I?

It wasn’t until I got to college and began to seek God for myself that I began to do good things just because. I began wanting to be the best me ever because God showed me so much favor. I wanted to be more like him. And day after day my flesh died, and I became less judgmental, less hard on myself and others.

 

I learned that I couldn’t keep expecting the people in my life to be perfect. I gave almost everyone in my life such high standards and ultimately if they didn’t reach them I would disown them. it took me go  through a lot of relationships and failed friendships to realize this.

 

I finally talked to my mom and let go of the hurt, now she’s like my best friend. and me and my Dad talk to each other all the time, I share things with him that I would have never thought I would be able to talk to him about.

 

I am blessed to have this experience, and I am blessed to have learned this at this point in my life. Now, I can go on building relationships that will prosper, with all I have learned. I am excited to see the new relationships I will foster with me new way of perceiving the world.

❌New Music Alert❌

Y’all I absolutely love SZA she is so dope. This album is mainly for those who are still constantly going through the in and outs of having relationships in where you feel unappreciated or you’re the side chick. lol i couldn’t relate to the lyrics but everything about this Blum is amazing. Her vocals, LIT. Beats, LIT. Features LIT ! Make sure you download this album! Currently on Apple Music. 

The Root Cause of HATE is FEAR.

I see a lot of people on social media who try to wrap their brain around the reason why their is some much hate and the world, so if you really want to know let me break it down for you:

Fear

/ˈfir/

noun

  1. an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Real Life Example: I HATE SNAKES. I hate how they look, I hate just everything about them. I have never even been around one. A snake has never harmed me. i have never even been near a snake, and I don’t ever want to be, because I hate them

Now to be real, the only reason why I HATE snakes is because I’m afraid of them, and the media has perpetuated this fear with movies portraying snakes as one of the ravenous predators in the world. I’m scared to get bitten by a snake, I’m scared a snake will put me in a choke hold and kill me , or swallow me whole.

FOLLOW ME …

Now, when Africans were bought here and enslaved by Europeans, they seen how we would benefit them. We were strong, great for working in the sun and they didn’t have to pay us.

Fast forward, we’re free…..

What White People are Thinking: what are we going to do with these people who we have humiliated, enslaved, beaten , killed, oppressed for 200 years , what are we gong to do? Are they going to try and get revenge? are they going to kill us? and enslave us like what we did to them? We don’t know how to work.. they’ve done all of our jobs for us for so long? How will this affect out economy? They were the basis of our economical infrastructure for so long! what are we going to do….

FEAR. Would best describe the feelings of most white people when slavery ended. Not so much yet hate.

Think about it, slaves fed their children, cleaned their house, and supported them economically.  Wouldn’t you be afraid if one day  a good life in which you didn’t have to lift a finger, was just stripped away from you, and all of a sudden you had to fiend for yourself?

Now look, instead of white people giving up on slavery completely. They thought of new ways in which they could continue to keep us enslaved and benefit off of us economically.

The 13th Amendment, what was supposed to just free us  began the mass incarceration of African Americans,  black men in particular, so that we could continue to do the work of a slave, but legally of course. We built their homes, their roads,  and made way for an industrial world, they could enjoy.

They used Jim Crow, Black Codes… anything to just keep us in that state of slavery.

But what perpetuated this fear the most, turning it into hate was the media. like how the media furthered my fear.. I mean hate for snakes.

A movie by the name of Birth of a Nation, (the original one), used black face to depict African Americans as rapist, monsters Apes, murderers, savages….. there was one  scene in particular in which a white man  saved a white woman from being being raped by a savage, which was really a white man in blackface. This image now represented all  black men, they also made black women to look ugly, scary, and undesirable.

These images were shown all over the world, repeatedly. being embedded  into peoples head that black people should be hated because they were dangerous , they would kill you.

So much so that people all over the world began believing it. Out of fear, they hated black people.

The blacker you were the more dangerous you were which meant your were feared more. you were the ugliest, the meanest the loudest. Why? because you scare me, and its in me to automatically hatebwhat I fear .

Now you can take this concept and apply it to pretty much any situation where hate lies. ultimately fear makes you hate things that you have never even encountered. Fear makes you want to kill things before they kill you. If I seen a snake right now I would attempt to kill it out of fear.

This fear turned into hate was passed down to their kids, and their kids kids with no explanation.
 

THE END.